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10 January 2020 Sick... and the Need for Personal Messagers

Mood song: The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult and Possum Kinddom by the Toadies.  I’m not sure if they are my actual mood but they are a similar theme to the poem I’m writing.  The former song is about a girl being led to the reaper.  The later is about a girl being lured to Possum Kingdom lake in Texas by a cult member.  I’m not sure about the poem I’m writing as it is somewhat free verse, not my forte as I don’t quite understand poetry in that form.   I can understand my friend’s poetry in free verse as I can see the rhythm in the words and the imagery.  Maybe that is the key to understanding poetry is understanding rhythm and imagery.  The poem that I’m writing is about Persephone.

It’s been a blah kind of day as I’m sick.  If a person looked at me, they probably wouldn’t see that I was sick, well maybe now they would because I’m feeling a bit warm.  Anyway, I went home early and took a nap.  I went to the cigar shop to buy cigars for later.  Then I went to Walmart to get snacks.  It’s a snacking kind of day.  Supper for tonight is low salt triscuits and hummus with olives.  I’m wearing the weird stretchy jeans that my mother gave me and a doctor who t-shirt.  I know that at any moment I could fall asleep.

I felt bad that I couldn’t stay at the cigar shop.  The owner gave me a hard time for not coming in on Saturdays.  I have to do what I can to get my projects done and self published.  Once I self publish book five, then I can rethink my schedule.  But by that time everything may change yet again.  I want to make sure that I do make time for my friends in my pursuit to establish myself as a writer.

I wish I had some sort of intermediary or emissary.  I mean for the ones I cannot reach out to, for whatever reason.  My herald.  Someone who can say, no, well he actually says this.  Like he says he loves you.  That sort of thing.  
It’s kind of like in the middle ages when knights would send their pages to their lovers.  Up to like the romantic period, I’m not quite sure but definitely by the Victorian period, people didn’t marry for love but for good or better position.  A good match might be the person of one house that has more nobility but doesn’t have as much wealth as the person of the another house that is lower in nobility.  Or to bring about peace, the princess of this country will marry the prince of that country, mostly between France and England and other common wealth countries.  So then, people of nobility would have arranged marriages and once the marriage had been set, they would find a lover.  Then they would send their personal messagers to the lover to relay information or to set up a meeting at a time when no one could see them.
Anyway, I wish I had a go between or something like that to help me.  Not for a lover like in the old system but to help me with friends and for the romantic lead of my life who I would never cheat on because in today’s age people can marry for love.  Help me set up private meetings for coffee or tea.

So, there I am for the moment.  I’m not sure where I’ll go tomorrow to do my writing.  I’ll probably go to either Baright or Sump library.  I went to Baright library last night because I came home to a barking dog who was in one of the rooms I do not enter.  I think the dog may be learning to accept the kennel as it didn’t back as much when I came home today.

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