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17 January 2020

Song Mood: Hold On by Wilson Phillips.  The song played on the radio the moment I went through a cycle of thoughts that ended with, you just need to hold.  I got in my car and song played as I turned it on.  Another serendipitous moment.

I’m feeling a mixture of fear of the future and of anxiety about the failings of my past.  Nothing specific.  A series of events played out where nothing happens and everything happens.

So I want to expand on learning the single focus idea in a story.  And so I google it, hoping, that other people have blogged about it.  I couldn’t find anything that would teach me what it is that I want to know.  Then I realized that I actually know the answer on a few different levels.  One, I can take any one of novellas that I have read over the last couple of years and imitate them.  But go on a different level.  First, as an exercise write out a passage word for word.  Then write my scene and imitate the passage.  Something to give me the feel of how to write out a scene with the focused idea.  It’s not easy.  What I seek isn’t found on a simple internet search, a mysterious new blog that is going to give me an easy solution.  The solution to my problems in writing is just to write.  I know the answer.  I know how to write.  I have to trust myself that I can do this.

I had this idea of imitation for years.  I would buy book after book, saying, this is the book that is going to teach me how to write.  When all along I just needed to write.  At least now I’m just looking for books to entertain me.  I just want to write a book that will entertain me.

I started to go the gym this week.  I feel whimpy that I have the treadmill set for 4.5 mph.  I will work my way up to six.  I just have a tough time doing 7 mph for five minutes let alone an hour.  
I did Chick Fil-A two days in a row and Fazoli’s tonight, it’s kind of a set back.  On a good note, I have replaced potato chips with Triscuits.  So next week, I’ll either up the time or up the speed or both on the treadmill.  Once I start running on the treadmill 5 times a week doing five miles, I’ll start losing weight and the issues I have now, hopefully will go away.

I’ve had these terrible headaches.  I think part of it is from trying to live healthy and then switching over to fried food.  I need to stop eating fried foods.

I’m over two weeks in my six weeks without alcohol.  I like drinking beer and wine for taste, so giving up alcohol isn’t a big deal for me.  It just lowers my already low tolerance.  Which is why I don’t buy red wine as I don’t have anyone to share with.  Because once the bottle has been opened, the wine will never taste as it would after the first opening, unless you have some sort of keg system for wine.

Tomorrow, I will spend on writing.  I think I will write an ending for the story I’m working on now.  So that I have a better idea of where the story goes from where I started.  Based off of what I do tomorrow, I’ll work out how I will tackle the project.  In the new few weeks, I will need to work on finding beta readers.  The Librarian would be a good one as we had a good conversation about Sci-Fi/Fantasy (SFF).  I actually know a few people who read SFF.

Tonight I watched this weird French Sci-Fi movie.  It was made all that much weirder by being French.  For French films, I should stick with romantic comedies.  I liked this one called Blind Date where this guy had an apartment that he hardly left that had thin walls and there was this girl in the apartment next to him.  They were both loud and bothering each other.  So they worked out a deal, but thought that it would be better if they never saw each other.  Of couse the see each other at the end and like all romantic movies they kiss at the end.  Movies like that, which are more soothing to the soul.  Not that I want to watch romantic comedies all the time.

So tomorrow will be writing and planning for the novella and the series.  I will hold on for another day like the song says and see what tomorrow brings.


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