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22 February 2020

Song Mood: Tom’s Diner by Suzanne Vega.  Which is a weird slice of life type song where the lyrics are nearly spoken instead of sung set to an exacting drum beat.  I heard it on the radio and it was the first time I heard that song in a decade or two.  I immediately thought of the song Luka by the same artist.

Writing today was like pulling teeth.  Life is sometimes like pulling teeth.  Of course pulling teeth is like pulling teeth.  But I made myself write 2,000 words.  I’m now up to 15,000 words with a goal of 30,000 to 36,000 words.  
I fought myself this morning on writing.  So eventually I wrote a scene because I had mentioned a meeting between characters and Milo realizing that it had been Kurt all along who had messed up his life.  So I wrote scenes because I mentioned something in a scene that takes place further in the story.  The scenes I wrote or worked on were to help other scenes make sense.
In times past, I would start writing at the beginning of the story and just write the story until it concludes.  I like this tent pole scene writing so much better.  Writing a series of scenes for the beginning and then a series of scenes at the end and the filling in the between has made the process easier.  I think in the future I will write a beginning and end then plot points 1 and 2 and fill in the stuff in the middle.

So far, I have been having a difficult time picturing Glum.  Because I was basing her off of Glumdalclitch, or the one in Ted Danson’s mini series Gulliver’s Travels.  Gulliver loves Glum, but is mean to her.  Milo loves Glum, but he’s a jerk to her because he had been hurt badly before.  After today, I think I understand Glum better.  I have an idea of her background.  She had ADHD as a child but as she developed abilities, she became unmanageable.  Then Kurt comes into picture and just shows her enough to be manageable.  In this book, she discovers what she can really do and works on her abilities.
The idea is that Milo is mean to her because he doesn’t want to get hurt and in the end realizes she was right all along.  That is his character arc, he’s an asshole who realizes that the love of his life was there for him and that she was right.

Book two, Edgar is a thief who has his comeuppance.  It’s just a story that I wrote before but now I know how to expand it.

Yesterday, I talked with my best friend from grade school.  It was his birthday and I sent him a text, upon which he called me.  It meant so much to me to talk with him after several years.  He has been so busy raising three daughters.
I go through these periods where I lose all my friends.  It feels like I have been cut off, disconnected.  It is rough, almost unbearable, I want to die because I don’t have anyone to talk with.  I don’t have anyone who wants to just hang out with me.
Just speaking with him for four minutes erased some of the hurt and pain that I felt.  There are two things that he does when I see him that puts me at ease.  Every time I see him, he gives me a hug right away.  No body hugs me.  Then he talks to me like he just saw me yesterday.  He asks me loads of questions that turn into conversations and then into deeper conversations.  I begin to remember who I was before and I feel right again.
It was a good conversation.  Sometime this week, we are going to talk properly.  The times in the past when we talk with each other, it could be between an hour to three.  Besides him, I haven’t been able to talk with anyone for more than twenty minutes.
He does media marketing.  We talked before about my website and this time I told him that I have a website.  He wants to talk with me about what I can do to market myself as a writer.  How I can use a blog to do that.

Sometimes life is like pulling teeth.  I just have to keep on writing.  I can see that there are several possibilites of the future.  There is a possibility that I get blindsided.  A possibility where I focused on this one person, or I focused on preventing this one future to not see what happening.  The reason I am pushing myself as a writer is because I want to prepare myself for all of the possibilites.


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Song Mood: Funky Town by Lipps Inc.  As a strange thing happened as I was walking around Wally-world for no reason.  That song had been playing on the radio.  One of the workers of the store was singing the song, after it had played and then I sang it while I was looking for stuff.  Other shoppers were singing it after I passed them.  It was like a chain Funky Town performance in a store.
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14 March 2020

It’s been a long day.  I woke up at 4:30am, hungry.
I went to Walmart to do the weekly grocery shopping.  I went to the lake.  I didn’t go out really.  Tomorrow will much of the same.
I didn’t get much of anything done, except for getting groceries and exercise.
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