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29 February 2020

Song Mood: Can’t Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake because that is the complete opposite of what I’m feeling.  I’m not upbeat, I’m not chipper.  At least I’m not listening or streaming Taylor Swift.  That would be a sign I went over to the dark side.  Like I’d be jamming out to Taylor Swift as I took on a Jedi Temple with my lone red light saber embracing the quickness of the darkside.

Currently I’m listening to Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir again.  I think that if one studied that book for a year and tried to emulate, one would be at the top of all the best seller list within months.  She’s that good.  Tor.com really hyped up the book and for good reason.  In my opinion, her writing surpasses all the snobish ‘literary’ writers.  The type that professors jam down your throat like Virginia Wolf and Sylvia Plath.  (I read both and enjoyed both btw)  Muir makes reading fun.  In the end, that’s what you want, you want the story to be fun to read.  Just like you want to be told a story that is fun to listen to.  Anyway.

I can’t replicate Muir anytime soon.  The more I try to learn, the less I do.  So I must do.  I must write because nothing will ever get done.  The learning must come from doing this time.

I thought of the thought that disturbs me last night.  My deepest rooted fear, since like forever.  Infinity, eternal, whatever you want to call it.  I dislike the idea of being alive forever and at the very same time I dislike the idea of being dead forever.  It’s a thought that drives me crazy.  It has ever since my paternal grandmother died when I was thirteen.  Anyway.

Ironically, if I ever got a tattoo, it would have something like the infinity symbol in some way.  And it would have to be a matching Tattoo.  Moving on.

So I try to distract myself.  What I should do, is plan a trip to Paris.  I really enjoyed Meudon.  Of course I really enjoyed King’s cross in London.


I’m here at the Milton R Abrahams Public Library.  Saturdays, I like to go to Whole Foods to get a can of cold brew coffee and head to the library to do some writing.  After posting this I will get up walk around books and chide myself for not writing.  Then I will sit down and knock out a couple thousand words.

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