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13 Friday 2020

Song Mood: Creep by Radiohead.  I think that song fits my mood perfectly.  I remember being in a loft apartment in Aberdeen, SD playing Super Mario World and listening to this song, probably drinking wine coolers of all things.  I would be down on myself because I learned that I don’t like the sight of needles and for the most part I don’t like the sight of blood.

As I get older, my fear of people gets worse.  I’m beginning to stutter again.  Because as I get older, I become more like my father.  I’m like my father, but mobile.  He was agoraphobic and hardly left the house.  He did leave the house once a month as he drove the family to a nearby city to do some shopping.  And then he would never left the car.  I always think it was the Air Force that made him the way he was.  But in truth, it probably was the catalyst, that he would have been who he was and the Air Force just sped things up.  Which was why he was adamant that I didn’t join the armed forces and get a degree.  My being nearsighted, which would have excluded me from being a jet fighter pilot, was the determining factor.  He was so proud of me when I got my degree in drafting.

At work, I met with my director about the possibility of working at home soon due to the coronavirus.  I can work at home and will have no problem doing so.  Some of my teammates were teasing me by saying, it was nice knowing you or it was nice working with you.  Which even if it was teasing spooked me.  Many of my teammates would rather work at home.  I don’t want to be like my dad.  I push myself to go out so that I am around people and could possibly interact with people.  I don’t care how awkward things get because that is what I need to do, be out around people.  Whether I like or dislike people, I need to be around them for my own good.  The only thing is, with me, I walk around with a sense of being isolated.
Lately, my conversations with people have been awkward, shortened.  I am afraid that I’m becoming more of a special needs person.  Anyway.  It’s possible that I will be working at home at some point next week.

Tomorrow, I will stick in my area.  Well, I have to with all of the libraries shutting down.  While the Milton Abraham Library may not be my favorite place to write, I do make myself write when I’m there.  I will leave the house to go for a walk.  If I get up early enough, I will do grocery shopping first.  I’ll probably get up early, what am I talking about?

I decided to repurpose the Dark Prince.  I don’t know why it took my so long to see this.  In a sense, I have to repurpose characters.  I had these ideas of stories that never got completed.  When I start out, I want dark characters to be heroes, who are just misunderstood.  As time passes and I don’t write a story, an idea for a new story arises and they get overlooked as I get excited for the next story.  A decade or two later, nothing that amounts to an actually story is written.  There was a time that I read Tolkien, and read everything he wrote.  And I wanted badly to be the next Tolkien.  I no longer want to be the next Toklien, I want to write a series of stories with my own vision.
And that is what I’m trying to write now.  Something as if I was a producer or a director with an eye for cinematic design.
The Dark Prince will now be the villan for the all in one novel.  His nemesis is the Traveler.  When Milo is in the world of Edgar, he is told that needs to find the Dark Prince.  That is who Edgar wants to find and wants to kill for making Edgar a zombie.  Milo’s ability to teleport is what sets the Dark Prince free.  Because what good is a locked tomb if someone can teleport in it?
My ideas of characters need to change as in reality I cannot go back to the old stories.  I need to move the stories forward.  Repurposing characters gives them a place in the new worlds I’m creating.
Tomorrow, I’ll work on Earth 314.  I can’t use 616 because that is already copyrighted by Marvel.  In the Marvel universe, Earth 616 is our world.  So in my series, our world will be Earth 314.

Tonight will be binge watching Father Brown.  Father Brown seems to cheer me up, so I’ll watch an episode or two.  Or maybe I’ll watch Avengers: Age of Ultron,  I don’t know yet.  At this point, I don’t need to know anything.  Tomorrow is going to be another day.  Maybe with a few more days stringed together, I’ll be happy.

And to all those reading my blogs, I hope that you are safe from our disastrous quarantined from coronavirus world.


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