26 August 2020

 Song mood: Disappear by INXS.

I was way tired this morning and for the whole on account of someone walking around the house in the wee hours of the morning.  Whatever.  Anyway.  So it was a rough ten hours of work today.

On top of that the whole right of my head was a bit sore.  Like the eardrum was sore and burning up.  I had a sore throat, but on the right side.  I had a cluster headache above my right eye.  The right side of my skull feels a little sore when I run my hand across it.

It’s a weird thing happening.  I think I will be going to bed early, but I probably won’t.

I think I may be taking a break from my main project.  I don’t know.  Sometimes when I take a break from a project, I don’t return until years later and with even more frustration for having not accomplished something.

The whole problem with sci-fi/fantasy/horror is being able to describe something without losing the audience.  I admit that I don’t have the self confidence or confidence in my writing.  And yet I can read something that was poorly written and tear it apart and also know what the author could have done to make it easier on the reader.

The issue with the mystery is that I never get past the planning stage.

So last night I was thinking of taking a break from the project.  And thinking that maybe it was time to just let go of writing, of everything.  But then there is that absolutely small part of me that says, maybe if you did this you would find….

The thought that brought on the series of thoughts is that I set out on the big project on the beginning of the year and I have nothing to show for it.  So the idea of taking a break from the project was to write something that would take a lot less editing and rewriting and that I could for sure publish before the end of the year.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter.  But then it does.  I could catch COVID and recover quickly, but months down the line have a blood clot to the heart as a side effect of having COVID.  What good would my story fragments be then?

Anyway.

Listening to The Science Fiction of Edgar Allan Poe is a bit like visually reading Poe.  That is if you are not focused, it is easy to get side tracked or lost.  There were a few of his stories that I could keep focus on.  Guy de Maupassant on the other hand, his words just flow easy, which is why I like him the most.

I was thinking, if I were, which I probably will, to write a biography, what would be my next step.  I would start with listening to Lucy Worsley’s Jane Austin at Home.  The biography on Queen Victory that I listened to was awesome.  However, I would want to see how she does a biography on a writer.

Then I would think of the different genres that Poe wrote and work a list from there.  It would help to get a chronology of life events and works published.  But that is a long project that can be worked on little by little.

Tomorrow is another day.  I think it should be a day of lists.  Where I make a list of projects, a list of movies that I want to see, a list of books that I need to finish by the end of the year.

I’ve done it again this year.  Right now, as I write this, it is too late to ask an artist or two to collaborate with me for October poems.  Each year I want to do something for October poems.  I want to do a collaboration.  I think about it.  Then time passes and I realize that time is probably too late.  Then I think of something else that I’m not as enthused about.  One of these years, something is going to happen and I’ll be happy with the October poems.