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Showing posts from 2021

21 July 2021

  Song mood: Loser by Beck. I should be writing in my mystery novel(la). I should be reading the mystery novel that I want to finish before August. But I’m sitting at my computer grinding my teeth. I’m listening to Indie Mix on Youtube, which is playing songs that I searched for the most over the past few years. I’m thinking of what to do for my birthday. I just don’t to listen to ‘the Dude,’ in or around my birthday.  So I’ll probably go up and visit my mum on the Sunday before. Then travel to Minneapolis on my Birthday. If I do that, then I will eat at Christo’s, which is my favorite Greek restaurant. I would go there with my best friend from childhood and eat there, or at Sushi Tango’s. I don’t want to spend a lot of money, if it’s just me. And if I want to go to Paris next year, I’ll want to save as much as I can. I wanted to go to Carmel-by-the-Sea, CA. The town that the poet Robison Jeffers lived in. I was too late, when thinking about this. Right now, the round trip tick

20 July 2021

  Song mood: We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel. I’m listening to One by One by Ruth Ware. I think she is one of the most talented writers. This story is similar to And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. Ware has, like most of her stories have, this one character who has anxiety. And the woman talks about how she feels invisible. I love that character. Of course, she isn’t invisible, but you can’t tell that character that. I’m invisible and I know it. And, I can really relate with that character. Anyway, I’m enjoying the novel. I’ve been working on my Tai Chi. It will be a week or two before I get the 8 form Yang Style down. I slept until my alarm at 6:30am. Which hardly ever happens. And when I did wake up, I didn’t want to wake up. I was in the middle of a dream. I’m wondering if I dreamt about a short or a middle height miss. I can’t remember much of the dream, it was around unfamiliar surroundings. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do for my birthday. Probably

16 July 2021

  Song mood: Left Hand Free by alt-J. I can see that everything is getting better. It’s amazing what a few videos on Youtube and Tik Tok can do. I watched an friend’s animation video. I was amazed by the skill that it takes to make a cool video. I miss Doctor Who and cannot wait for the next series (season). I watched a movie the other day called: An Adventure in Space and Time . It was a dramatization of the creation of the first television show. From choosing who will play the Doctor to the producer’s fight to keep the Daleks and have them in the show. It was an engaging movie which stared David Bradley as William Hartnel the first Doctor. Which was neat because he played the first Doctor in Peter Capaldi’s final episode. Peter Capaldi will still be my favorite Doctor because he wasn’t meant to be lovable. He was supposed to be the grumpy old man. The Doctors alternate. One is usually silly and fun and people love them. The one that follows is usually stern and grumpy and unl

14 July 2021

  Song mood: Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles. I finished listening to The Courtiers by Lucy Worsley. I enjoyed it. The death of Queen Caroline, wife to George ii, was gruesome. She had a hernia after the last time she gave birth and didn’t tell anyone about it. She wore shrift that she never took off. Back then other people dressed royalty and she wore a shrift so no could see the issue she was having. Many years later she had a hole in her belly and intestines popped out. Which she could have survived, had they just pushed the intestines back in and sewed her back up. But the doctor cut them up to remove the ‘bad part’ of the intestines. She survived for about a week afterward. Overall, I thought that the life of the courtiers was interesting. Royalty really could be cruel to their own family. I still wear a mask to most places. For two reasons: 1.) teens and children haven’t been vaccinated. 2) studies have shown that the pfizer vaccine isn’t as effective against the

11 July 2021

  Song mood: Hunting High and Low by A-Ha. One day I would like to sit down and write a collection of short stories inspired by each song on the album. The power came on at 7:29 this morning. It’s been a strange weekend because of the storms and power outage. Last night I was so tired that I feel asleep before 10:00pm. I read in the candlelight. I know I should have done some ideating in the candlelight, but I was tired and reading convinced me to go to bed early. I got this weird email yesterday. It said thank you for registering with Zola. And that it’s okay to be excited for your big day. If you need help picking a venue, click on this link or if you need help with flowers click on this link. I looked up the website, the customer service number is a Californian number, a legit website. Anyway.  I didn’t sign up for this website. I thought it weird. I checked the registries on the website and didn’t find my name. I thought, maybe someone is obsessed. Which would be a neat story

9 July 2021

  Song mood: prom dress by mxmtoon. I must admit, I’m enjoying Tik Tok far more than I was expecting.  I haven’t done it yet, but making lip sync videos is a lot easier through the app.  You can view someone’s profile and if you like what they’re lip syncing to, you can click on sound to get the original and then use that for your own video.  In the section for audio, you can see who else has done it. I have a serious depression face, so it may be a while before I think of making a video.  Depression face is something that you can feel.  But until you see a picture of yourself, you don’t realize that you have it on.  Or something like that.  Like people with depression know that they have depression or are depressed.  But the face of a person who is in a state of depression is quite visible.  Mainly, it lacks energy.  They can smile, but the smile is lacking energy and usually looks forced.  I noticed this when I looked at selfies I took with my instax camera.  The selfie I took in


  My favorite food of all time would be raspberries.   That is until Ranier cherries come into season, then raspberries tie for first.   Though the cherries tear apart my stomach like white onions do, so, I probably will make an effort to not eat as many cherries.   But then I always forget and find myself buy cherries at the store.

6 July 2021

  Song mood: The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-Ha. I finished listening to The Carter of ‘La Providence’ by Georges Simenon today.  The second Maigret novel.  In audiobook format, most of the Maigret novels are three hours long.  They’re not like the whodunits of today.  Maigret has a hunch, he has one of his men look up something.  Then he explains things in the end.  And then you remember the clues he talks about but know that there is no way you could have guessed who done it with those clues. Next up.  Well, this is a longer list.  The Courtiers by Lucy Worsley, where she goes over the history of the people who lived in the royal courts.  One by One by Ruth Ware, a mystery I heard was like And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. Then, if there is time: The Turn of the Screw by Henry James, which is a ghost story.  Velvet Was the Night by Silvia Moreno-Garcia comes out on 17 August, which I pre-ordered.  Certain Dark Things, also by Moreno-Garcia comes out on 7 Septembe

3 July - 4 July 2021

  Song mood: Tear in My Heart by twenty one pilots. Every now and them, you come across somebody and you say, wow, they get it. And it makes you think that other people might get it too. I watch these videos by this one woman on Tik Tok. Most of the videos are comedic, but there was this one video that was real serious. It was written as an apology and I thought I’d share the lyrics. To me, the words along with the way they were presented were beautiful: You shouldn’t be afraid to go outside Color shouldn’t matter because inside We are flesh, we are bones We are fighting the unknown I’m raising my hands saying you are not alone. Every time I watch this, I go wow, this person really gets it. I was touched because I think, someone understands my struggle. I know the song wasn’t written for me, but I feel better about the world because there is someone out there who does understand my struggle. She’s not the only one who understands. There are others who understand.  Sometime

1 July 2021

  Song mood: Under Pressure by David Bowie. I’m going to a museum tomorrow. I’m going to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City. I booked a room at the Motel 6 in Overland Park. The problem with Kansas City is that it is all spread out. The museum is twenty minutes away from the motel. My first stop in Kansas City is to go to Oddly Correct Coffee for the best coffee in the world, which is 25 minutes away from the motel. The coffee shop is on the way to wherever I plan to go. I think for supper, I will look for restaurants in the area. All the cool BBQ restaurants are on the other side of town. So it will be a challenge to find something in the area. It will be something to do. I come back on Saturday. I think I may look up other museums I may go to on Saturday. Who knows.  A short trip to take pictures of art. So that I can write poems about art. It will be fun just get away for a day. Motel writing is fun. Here’s where I need to play the what if game.  At the restaurants,

30 June 2021

  Song mood: Something Just Like This by Coldplay and The Chainsmokers. Yesterday was a bad headache day. I took Ibuprofen and then I took Tylenol after that and it was still bad. I continued working. Then I did my exercising and wrote my poem. And it was still bad. So I lay in bed and played Zelda for a few hours, in which my body felt better and the headache was dull. It was so bad, I cried most of the night because of the pain. My joints hurt. They hurt a bit today. On top of that is the internal organ pain. Which wasn’t as bad as before my gallbladder needed to be removed. So I didn’t get any writing done yesterday.  The holiday is coming up. I have a few days off. I think I will go to Kansas City to go to the museum and take pictures of art. That will be Friday and Saturday. Then I will come back to Omaha and hang out with family. What I was thinking was may be this could be the weekend legends are made of. I could sit down and write a hundred pages over the long holiday. But

28 June 2021

  Song mood: You Get What You Give by New Radicals. I’m writing this post, to write something. So that the forces of darkness doesn’t win. So that the Karens don’t win. Well, they always win because they don’t actually live in objective reality. In their tiny little heads, they win because facts don’t matter. But anyway. Anyone who is willing fight a Karen for you, must really love you. I’m switching between three different audio programs. One I’m listening to How to Write Best Selling Fiction by James Scott Bell, which is a recap of most of his how to writing books. Then I’m listening to the Audible podcast Marigold by Sara Gran. It’s about a ghost hunter who interviews a young woman about the haunted house she lives in. The young woman has a really bad attitude and so the podcast is rough to listen to. And thirdly, though I’m nearly finished is Pietr the Latvian by Georges Simenon. The first Maigret novel. It’s about this international criminal who passes through France and de

21 June 2021

  Song mood: Champagne Supernova by Oasis. Oasis was always the second Beatles to me. Father’s days are usually a little rough for me. My father died on a father’s twenty-two years ago. That was twenty-two years ago yesterday. Yesterday, I just didn’t feel like eating and so I didn’t. My father was a good man, far better than me. But still, many of his traits were passed on to me. I understand my father better these days. He was agoraphobia, the fear of being in public places. He injured one of knees and that added with his agoraphobia, he stopped working. He gained weight and developed cancer. Because of the agoraphobia, he didn’t go to a doctor regularly until he had a mild heart attack. When they found the cancer, it had spread. I need to get back to writing. The two more pressing projects will be the mystery for my uncle and the book of poetry for my mother. I want to get that one done before her birthday in September. I don’t like that she’s living alone in Fargo. Though, I

15 June 2021

  Song mood: How Bizarre by OMC. That’s how bees are. I’m nearing the end of The Martian by Andy Weir.  I am enjoying it, despite Wil Wheaton narrating.  I like it because the main character just has a lot of trouble in his journey of trying to escape mars.  Something will go right and the next moment, something drastic happens that makes his situation worse.  I kind of think that’s how life is, or for me at least.  Something good will happen, and then something happens that just f*#&s it up. I haven’t decided what’s next for listening.  I have a few more hours of listenig before I need to decide.  A few more walks around the lake. The next few days will be warm.  I will attempt to walk out in the heat.  I have to toughen up a little.  I can’t say hey, ‘it’s too hot, or it’s too cold, I don’t think I’ll walk today.’ This weekend, I did a little road trip to Nebraska City.  Getting my stamps and checking out places to set up my own little writer’s retreat. I’m also thinking

12 June 2021

  Song mood: Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve. I hate it when I wake up around 4:30am. Sure I may sleep for twenty to thirty minutes after or something like that, but still, it makes for a long day.  I try to fall back asleep but there is the damned meadow larks chirping loudly, who, chirp softly the moment I’m up and walking around.  I know from experience that I can’t drink more coffee.  The extra coffee just makes me more jittery.  So here I am. The truth is not in an Instagram post or an item on my browsing history on Amazon.  When I’m tired, I just like to watch videos on IG, sometimes youtube, but my attention span is rather short. I kind of want to go on a small trip today.  Maybe I will.  I think I should do some serious hiking.  Yesterday I was thinking I should lift weights for hours.  Last weekend I thought I should sit down and write a book in a day.  I’m stuck between the desire of concentrated effort and apathy.  Apathy wins the majority of the time. Last night,

10 June 2021

  Song mood: The Sun Always Shines on TV by the A-ha. I saw a sign today. My heart is a church in the middle of Paris that I unexpectedly visited but had to because of the name. I want to go on a road trip, but I want to save money. I gave myself the mohawk haircut I usually give myself when I want to save the thirty dollars. Because I would like visit that church in the middle of Paris on my way from the Louvre to Champ de Mars a.k.a. the Eiffel Tower. This time I will visit the tower. I will need to improve my French for when I call the hotel ibis to make reservations. I’m still a ways away from planning anything. What I learned from the last trip is to research the hotels online and call them directly. Been reading The Photography Storytelling Workshop by Finn Beales. I’m at the part where he tells about how to tell a story. Which I know, but think it’s interesting to see the POV of a photographer instead of a writer. I’m going to have to do some brainstorming to figure out w

4 June 2021

  Song mood: Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand. I did make some progress in prewriting the Inspector Trevor novel. Yes, I know, how much I talk about writing in the dark, and I plan my mysteries. But there are things that I have to know, like who was killed, why and how. Then you have a detective who pushes himself hard to catch the killer.  My thing now is what I’m calling write what you know. Not the advice many writers get unsolicited. This is just sitting down what ideas you already know about the story you are going to write. Write everything you ever thought about the story. It sounds really simple, but it works well. Then writing a six sentence story that has every important moment in the story. After that expanding on every sentence until you have a clear picture of the story that you are going to write. Well, that’s what I got. Then last night I did nothing. No reading. Just getting further on Zelda: A Link to the Past . I finally got to the castle where Zelda is being held i

31 May 2021

  Song mood: Royals by Lorde. This weekend, I helped out with a family project.  So it’s been reading and watching Murdock Mysteries during wait times.  It was good to hang out with cousins.  I got to have a neat conversation with one of my cousins about fantasy books.  It felt like old times, I thought it was so cool. The prevailing thought this morning was, and I was thinking about myself: don’t be such a winy bitch and write the damned mystery.  Depending on how successful I am of getting past myself, there may be fewer posts next month as I work on getting a mystery done.  Of the size of about 40,000 words.  I think that 120 pages is about right for the kind of mysteries I want to write. This morning I was reading this book on writing called T he Write Structure by Joe Bunting and realized that I knew most of what he write already and all I needed to do was read the exercises.  Like I already know why you need an inciting incident.  Like that is the action that brings the her

26 May 2021

  Song mood: I Miss You by blink-182. For what it’s worth, I really do. I worked on changing my strategy on writing today. I need to change the way I do things. Balance. I had balance at one point. Balance, not going from one extreme to the next. Not being affect by the actions of others. I will need to work on getting that balance back. So then people could throw hammers at me and I won’t loose my stance. I did one of the writing exercises that I tell people to do. I copied a paragraph from a book I’m reading into a notebook. Handwritten. It’s a good exercise. If done enough, copying passages from authors that you like, their style is bond to seep in. My uncle’s death hearing was this week. Him and two other guys were going back to the village. There was a storm, it was a dangerous time to be on boat in the small hours of the morning. The ocean currents were too strong. His body was lost out in the sea in 1998. My mother worked hard to get the hearing in motion. The marking

21 May 2021

  Song Mood: The Wolves and Ravens by Rogue Valley.   It seems fitting.   Every since I watched the Secret Life of Walter Mitty last, this song has been stuck in me head. I just finished binge watching Ted Lasso on AppleTV.  I did the free trail and have been watching it since last night.  It was phenomenal.  It’s about a futball franchise hiring a football coach from America to coach a premier league futball.  Like all good sports television shows or movies, it’s not about the sport, it’s about the people.  It’s about what people have to overcome in their lives. At the center is Ted Lasso, who knows nothing about futball, who moves to London to coach a futball team.  His boss had just got a divorce and hired him to get back at her ex-husband.  And by the end of the season, for her, it became less about herself and more about the people around her.   And that is the way it should be.  Going through a traumatic time, you focus on yourself to find that it’s really about the people

19 May 2021

Song mood: Space Oddity by David Bowie. I watched the Secret Life of Walter Mitty this weekend. I haven’t watched in a while. It’s one of my favorite movies. Because it was a movie that said that it’s okay to be me.  Space Oddity happens about in the middle. Where Walter has to decide if he is going to on a helicopter with a drunk pilot. He imagines his love interest playing and singing that song. Then he has the courage to go on his adventure. I’m trying to get out of myself. Because I think that’s the path towards productivity. What I mean here, is that my mind gets stuck in a series of patterns. Like if I can’t stop thinking about something, that is like a spell. And with most spells, it can be broken. I just need to get out of myself. Do something that will get my mind off of what I’m thinking. So, I’m watching these videos of this graphic artist. Mainly because I love the sound of her voice. I watched this one where it showed her drawing this picture and I was totally amazed of

18 May 2021

  Song mood: Voices Carry by ‘Till Tuesday. I’m in zombie mode. There were a few restless nights for various reasons. Then when I do get a good night’s sleep, which for me is seven hours straight, I still feel like crap. Not real conductive for writing creativity. Last night was worse than tonight as I’m only exhausted. Anyway. I’m hoping that I will be able to sleep well the next few nights, but I’m not holding my breath. The book that will be my birthday book has been released: The Album of Dr. Moreau by Daryle Gregory. I will look for some interesting wrapping paper and put it on a shelf until my birthday. After the snafu of last year, I decided early what the book should be and made sure it would be released in good time. And, today I ordered it. Now to figure out what I will do for my birthday. I know that I will be in Omaha for FCBD on 14 August. But, what do I do for my birthday itself? I don’t want to do a spendy trip because I want to go to Paris next year. I decided on