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21 May 2021

 Song Mood: The Wolves and Ravens by Rogue Valley.  It seems fitting.  Every since I watched the Secret Life of Walter Mitty last, this song has been stuck in me head.

I just finished binge watching Ted Lasso on AppleTV.  I did the free trail and have been watching it since last night.  It was phenomenal.  It’s about a futball franchise hiring a football coach from America to coach a premier league futball.  Like all good sports television shows or movies, it’s not about the sport, it’s about the people.  It’s about what people have to overcome in their lives.

At the center is Ted Lasso, who knows nothing about futball, who moves to London to coach a futball team.  His boss had just got a divorce and hired him to get back at her ex-husband.  And by the end of the season, for her, it became less about herself and more about the people around her.  

And that is the way it should be.  Going through a traumatic time, you focus on yourself to find that it’s really about the people around you.  Me, getting upset is just a sign that I care about you.

Anyways.  I really loved this series.  They had a scene where Ted went through a panic attack.  Right away, his boss went out of the bar and searched for him.  I was so happy when I saw this scene, though, I was crying while watching it.  They were able to portray a panic attack to a tee.  I cried because I could feel his pain, but I was happy because someone else was able to show what a panic attack feels like.

I’ve had enough panic attacks, where I can mask, or I think I can mask when I’m having a panic attack.  But the way it was represented in the show, I thought it was spectacular.  I thought, finally, someone else gets it.

It was a series about feeling.  Dealing with feelings, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It’s about forgiveness.  Learning to forgive the people around you.  Learning to just live.

Believe it or not, I think I’m the wise coach Lasso.  But in reality I’m just like Jamie Tart, the egotistical player who, if he would just learn to play with others, would become something more than what he was.  I need to let go of this idea of what I have of myself and become something more by letting others in.  Anyways, this is me on a Friday night.

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