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12 June 2021

 Song mood: Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve.

I hate it when I wake up around 4:30am. Sure I may sleep for twenty to thirty minutes after or something like that, but still, it makes for a long day.  I try to fall back asleep but there is the damned meadow larks chirping loudly, who, chirp softly the moment I’m up and walking around.  I know from experience that I can’t drink more coffee.  The extra coffee just makes me more jittery.  So here I am.

The truth is not in an Instagram post or an item on my browsing history on Amazon.  When I’m tired, I just like to watch videos on IG, sometimes youtube, but my attention span is rather short.

I kind of want to go on a small trip today.  Maybe I will.  I think I should do some serious hiking.  Yesterday I was thinking I should lift weights for hours.  Last weekend I thought I should sit down and write a book in a day.  I’m stuck between the desire of concentrated effort and apathy.  Apathy wins the majority of the time.

Last night, I broke down and got Disney+. I dropped Britbox.  I watched the first episode of Loki, and it was phenomenal.  The TV show was far better than I was expected and this was a show I was really anticipating.

What I can see for today is some walking.  Maybe I’ll go to a movie.  Or, maybe I’ll go to a museum.  Who knows, maybe I’ll take nap after posting this.  There are things I should be doing and then there are things that I will actually do.  One of these days, the two will be the same.


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