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15 June 2021

 Song mood: How Bizarre by OMC. That’s how bees are.

I’m nearing the end of The Martian by Andy Weir.  I am enjoying it, despite Wil Wheaton narrating.  I like it because the main character just has a lot of trouble in his journey of trying to escape mars.  Something will go right and the next moment, something drastic happens that makes his situation worse.  I kind of think that’s how life is, or for me at least.  Something good will happen, and then something happens that just f*#&s it up.

I haven’t decided what’s next for listening.  I have a few more hours of listenig before I need to decide.  A few more walks around the lake.

The next few days will be warm.  I will attempt to walk out in the heat.  I have to toughen up a little.  I can’t say hey, ‘it’s too hot, or it’s too cold, I don’t think I’ll walk today.’

This weekend, I did a little road trip to Nebraska City.  Getting my stamps and checking out places to set up my own little writer’s retreat.

I’m also thinking about going to Quad Con in Ft Dodge on 24 July.  It’s a three hour trip to get there.  I will think about it and a week before the event decide what I will do.

Not sure if I’m going to dress up as Peter Parker either.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do.  I know I’ll do Free Comic Book Day on 14 August.  Not sure of anything at the moment.

I’m not sure when I’ll get back to writing, if I get back to writing.  I have the feeling that I don’t matter.  When I have these feelings, I just don’t enjoy writing.  I sit and think about how I’m going to get out of this situation and could never come up with anything.  It’s a cycle.  I’ll say that writing is the way to get out of the funk.  But if you stay long enough in the funk, it consumes you.  Consumes your dreams.  Consumes your creativity.

These blog posts get me through the act of writing.  It may not be the story I want to work on, but I’m going through the motions.  And maybe that’s what I need.

Maybe they lead me back to balance.  I tend to go to extremes.  One extreme is where I’m all inspired, I think I will write a hundred page book in a day.  The next extreme is where I don’t want to write at all.  So I try to do something in the middle.  Write this blog post.  Anyway.

Tonight, I’ll watch a few more music videos from the 90’s.  I’ll read a little bit further on the Maigret novel I’m reading.  I’ll write down a task to accomplish tomorrow.  Tomorrow I will complain about the heat.


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