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Showing posts from July, 2021

31 July 2021

Song mood: Lose Yourself by Eminem. So, right now, the solution is libraries or cafes. I need to do what it takes to get writing done. And a library is the place to do it. At the moment I’m at Sump Library.  There are a certain set of rules for me, and nobody else in the house has rules. So it’s okay for someone to be yelling and slamming doors at one or two o’clock in the morning. But I’m not allowed to complain about it. It doesn’t take a genius to know why there are rules for me and no rules for anyone else. Just writing that will get me into trouble. The poems that I was supposed to write the last couple of nights haven’t been written. The conditions exist where I lose me creativity. But that doesn’t matter. The first step to getting my creativity back is to find environments where I can write. I wish I made the kind of friends that would say, yeah, you can sleep my couch. You will be safe and be able to sleep. Anyway, I’m super tired right now, but can’t do anything about it. I b

28 July 2021

  Song mood: All These Things I’ve Done by the Killers. For the last couple of days I have been writing August poems. So far, I have twenty poems written. Tonight, I think I will just pick the art for the rest of the days and finish writing the poems tomorrow. I will finish before August. It’s been too hot to walk outside, so I have been walking at malls to get my steps in. So, the Canadian border will open on 9 August. I’m thinking of driving to Winnipeg on the 9 th . I can find a cheap hotel and spend a couple of days in Winnipeg. It would be another trip by myself, which doesn’t thrill me. And at the same time, I don’t know how long the border will be open for because of the Delta Variant. The other upside to going to Canada, I could probably buy a Cuban cigar. Downside, extra driving time. My mum sprained her knee. When my sister moved to Alaska, I didn’t like the idea of my mum living by herself in Fargo. After her doctor’s appointment, she could probably get home health c

Arkham Scarecrow Mask

  There is a company in London that specializes in masks called The Ministry of Masks.   Their website is . I bought a mask from them a few years ago. It was a plague doctor mask variation that only cost 65 quid. Now that I have a little money to spend, the mask that I would love to buy is not available. I have always wanted to buy the Arkham Scarecrow mask. It has a fine balance of scary and elegant. I will have to keep checking the website until it is available, or hope someone on Etsy still has the mask for sale.

24 July 2021

  Song mood: Cherry Bomb by The Runaways. This morning I had a dream where I attended a Catholic mass. I was so happy to remember a dream. A few months ago, I had a disturbing dream and couldn’t remember my dreams since. I wrote this dream down, right away. Since it took place at a Catholic mass, I found that to be a good sign. I did a roadtrip to Sioux City today to get more stamps on my Nebraska Passport. I drove through the Winnebago reservation and found out that they were having their Pow Wow this weekend. I didn’t go to it, but should have since I was in the area. I’m nearly finished with Ruth Ware’s One by One . I really enjoy her writing. The book starts out as an Agatha Christie style murder mystery and moves on to become a thriller. So it didn’t follow And Then There Were None that closely. Or it started out that way and morphed into something else. Anyway, I’m enjoying it. As I was listening to it, and thinking how it is different to the Agatha Christie murder myster

21 July 2021

  Song mood: Loser by Beck. I should be writing in my mystery novel(la). I should be reading the mystery novel that I want to finish before August. But I’m sitting at my computer grinding my teeth. I’m listening to Indie Mix on Youtube, which is playing songs that I searched for the most over the past few years. I’m thinking of what to do for my birthday. I just don’t to listen to ‘the Dude,’ in or around my birthday.  So I’ll probably go up and visit my mum on the Sunday before. Then travel to Minneapolis on my Birthday. If I do that, then I will eat at Christo’s, which is my favorite Greek restaurant. I would go there with my best friend from childhood and eat there, or at Sushi Tango’s. I don’t want to spend a lot of money, if it’s just me. And if I want to go to Paris next year, I’ll want to save as much as I can. I wanted to go to Carmel-by-the-Sea, CA. The town that the poet Robison Jeffers lived in. I was too late, when thinking about this. Right now, the round trip tick

20 July 2021

  Song mood: We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel. I’m listening to One by One by Ruth Ware. I think she is one of the most talented writers. This story is similar to And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. Ware has, like most of her stories have, this one character who has anxiety. And the woman talks about how she feels invisible. I love that character. Of course, she isn’t invisible, but you can’t tell that character that. I’m invisible and I know it. And, I can really relate with that character. Anyway, I’m enjoying the novel. I’ve been working on my Tai Chi. It will be a week or two before I get the 8 form Yang Style down. I slept until my alarm at 6:30am. Which hardly ever happens. And when I did wake up, I didn’t want to wake up. I was in the middle of a dream. I’m wondering if I dreamt about a short or a middle height miss. I can’t remember much of the dream, it was around unfamiliar surroundings. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do for my birthday. Probably

16 July 2021

  Song mood: Left Hand Free by alt-J. I can see that everything is getting better. It’s amazing what a few videos on Youtube and Tik Tok can do. I watched an friend’s animation video. I was amazed by the skill that it takes to make a cool video. I miss Doctor Who and cannot wait for the next series (season). I watched a movie the other day called: An Adventure in Space and Time . It was a dramatization of the creation of the first television show. From choosing who will play the Doctor to the producer’s fight to keep the Daleks and have them in the show. It was an engaging movie which stared David Bradley as William Hartnel the first Doctor. Which was neat because he played the first Doctor in Peter Capaldi’s final episode. Peter Capaldi will still be my favorite Doctor because he wasn’t meant to be lovable. He was supposed to be the grumpy old man. The Doctors alternate. One is usually silly and fun and people love them. The one that follows is usually stern and grumpy and unl

14 July 2021

  Song mood: Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles. I finished listening to The Courtiers by Lucy Worsley. I enjoyed it. The death of Queen Caroline, wife to George ii, was gruesome. She had a hernia after the last time she gave birth and didn’t tell anyone about it. She wore shrift that she never took off. Back then other people dressed royalty and she wore a shrift so no could see the issue she was having. Many years later she had a hole in her belly and intestines popped out. Which she could have survived, had they just pushed the intestines back in and sewed her back up. But the doctor cut them up to remove the ‘bad part’ of the intestines. She survived for about a week afterward. Overall, I thought that the life of the courtiers was interesting. Royalty really could be cruel to their own family. I still wear a mask to most places. For two reasons: 1.) teens and children haven’t been vaccinated. 2) studies have shown that the pfizer vaccine isn’t as effective against the

11 July 2021

  Song mood: Hunting High and Low by A-Ha. One day I would like to sit down and write a collection of short stories inspired by each song on the album. The power came on at 7:29 this morning. It’s been a strange weekend because of the storms and power outage. Last night I was so tired that I feel asleep before 10:00pm. I read in the candlelight. I know I should have done some ideating in the candlelight, but I was tired and reading convinced me to go to bed early. I got this weird email yesterday. It said thank you for registering with Zola. And that it’s okay to be excited for your big day. If you need help picking a venue, click on this link or if you need help with flowers click on this link. I looked up the website, the customer service number is a Californian number, a legit website. Anyway.  I didn’t sign up for this website. I thought it weird. I checked the registries on the website and didn’t find my name. I thought, maybe someone is obsessed. Which would be a neat story

9 July 2021

  Song mood: prom dress by mxmtoon. I must admit, I’m enjoying Tik Tok far more than I was expecting.  I haven’t done it yet, but making lip sync videos is a lot easier through the app.  You can view someone’s profile and if you like what they’re lip syncing to, you can click on sound to get the original and then use that for your own video.  In the section for audio, you can see who else has done it. I have a serious depression face, so it may be a while before I think of making a video.  Depression face is something that you can feel.  But until you see a picture of yourself, you don’t realize that you have it on.  Or something like that.  Like people with depression know that they have depression or are depressed.  But the face of a person who is in a state of depression is quite visible.  Mainly, it lacks energy.  They can smile, but the smile is lacking energy and usually looks forced.  I noticed this when I looked at selfies I took with my instax camera.  The selfie I took in


  My favorite food of all time would be raspberries.   That is until Ranier cherries come into season, then raspberries tie for first.   Though the cherries tear apart my stomach like white onions do, so, I probably will make an effort to not eat as many cherries.   But then I always forget and find myself buy cherries at the store.

6 July 2021

  Song mood: The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-Ha. I finished listening to The Carter of ‘La Providence’ by Georges Simenon today.  The second Maigret novel.  In audiobook format, most of the Maigret novels are three hours long.  They’re not like the whodunits of today.  Maigret has a hunch, he has one of his men look up something.  Then he explains things in the end.  And then you remember the clues he talks about but know that there is no way you could have guessed who done it with those clues. Next up.  Well, this is a longer list.  The Courtiers by Lucy Worsley, where she goes over the history of the people who lived in the royal courts.  One by One by Ruth Ware, a mystery I heard was like And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. Then, if there is time: The Turn of the Screw by Henry James, which is a ghost story.  Velvet Was the Night by Silvia Moreno-Garcia comes out on 17 August, which I pre-ordered.  Certain Dark Things, also by Moreno-Garcia comes out on 7 Septembe

3 July - 4 July 2021

  Song mood: Tear in My Heart by twenty one pilots. Every now and them, you come across somebody and you say, wow, they get it. And it makes you think that other people might get it too. I watch these videos by this one woman on Tik Tok. Most of the videos are comedic, but there was this one video that was real serious. It was written as an apology and I thought I’d share the lyrics. To me, the words along with the way they were presented were beautiful: You shouldn’t be afraid to go outside Color shouldn’t matter because inside We are flesh, we are bones We are fighting the unknown I’m raising my hands saying you are not alone. Every time I watch this, I go wow, this person really gets it. I was touched because I think, someone understands my struggle. I know the song wasn’t written for me, but I feel better about the world because there is someone out there who does understand my struggle. She’s not the only one who understands. There are others who understand.  Sometime

1 July 2021

  Song mood: Under Pressure by David Bowie. I’m going to a museum tomorrow. I’m going to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City. I booked a room at the Motel 6 in Overland Park. The problem with Kansas City is that it is all spread out. The museum is twenty minutes away from the motel. My first stop in Kansas City is to go to Oddly Correct Coffee for the best coffee in the world, which is 25 minutes away from the motel. The coffee shop is on the way to wherever I plan to go. I think for supper, I will look for restaurants in the area. All the cool BBQ restaurants are on the other side of town. So it will be a challenge to find something in the area. It will be something to do. I come back on Saturday. I think I may look up other museums I may go to on Saturday. Who knows.  A short trip to take pictures of art. So that I can write poems about art. It will be fun just get away for a day. Motel writing is fun. Here’s where I need to play the what if game.  At the restaurants,