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9 July 2021

 Song mood: prom dress by mxmtoon.

I must admit, I’m enjoying Tik Tok far more than I was expecting.  I haven’t done it yet, but making lip sync videos is a lot easier through the app.  You can view someone’s profile and if you like what they’re lip syncing to, you can click on sound to get the original and then use that for your own video.  In the section for audio, you can see who else has done it.

I have a serious depression face, so it may be a while before I think of making a video.  Depression face is something that you can feel.  But until you see a picture of yourself, you don’t realize that you have it on.  Or something like that.  Like people with depression know that they have depression or are depressed.  But the face of a person who is in a state of depression is quite visible.  Mainly, it lacks energy.  They can smile, but the smile is lacking energy and usually looks forced.  I noticed this when I looked at selfies I took with my instax camera.  The selfie I took in KC shows this compared to others where I’m smiling and filled with joy.  When I’m in these states, I feel devoid of energy.

Tonight, I was scrolling through this profile on Tik Tok, and I noticed on a few of the videos, the woman had a depression face.  And even though she was smiling on a couple of the videos with the depression face, it was clear that she wasn’t having a good day.  Then most of the videos made even more sense.  All dark comedy videos.

I’ve noticed the face before on others.  People have to let you in before you can help.  Or, I’m not sure if I could really help but to just talk with the person.  Here’s my number if you want to talk.

I have been getting through life with Tik Tok and an imaginary girlfriend who is wholesome as heck.

I actually made some progress on my Inspector Trevor novella.  Just prewriting.  I will need to do somemore brainstorming.  At this point I could write the murder scene and a couple of other scenes.  I haven’t decided who is the murderer yet.  I can still write a murder scene without knowing who done it.  Because in that scene, I give details about the crime but few details about the person who done it.  When I write it out, it’s usually through the victim’s point of view.

I figured out Trevor’s ‘path’ to the Russian.  He can’t just walk up to the villan and just talk with him, there needs to be a string of characters he talks with that leads up to the baddie.  In this novella, the Russian my be the villan but not the murderer.

So, tomorrow will be a day of writing poems, brainstorming for the mystery and walking.  Maybe I’ll make a short trip to Lincoln to get a few stamps on my Nebraska passport.  That is, if the rain isn’t too bothersome for driving.


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18 November 2020

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